Trying to reset older iPad for my wife to use.

You need the Apple ID and password that was used when the device was first set up. If you don’t know that, you can’t remove the Activation Lock.

If this is a used device, the previous owner needs to go to https://www.icloud.com/find/ and erase the device, then remove it from their account. If they won't do that, the device is useless. Apple won't unlock it.

Turn off Activation Lock - Apple Support.   *

If you are the original owner, contact Apple. Apple can remove the ID  if provided the required paperwork to include the original purchase receipt with the serial number on it. 

Request additional support for unlocking your device.    -

You used to be able to take the device, the original purchase receipt with the serial number, and a photo ID to the nearest Apple Store (if it has reopened) and have them remove the ID. This may have changed, so call the store before going to make sure they can help.

Genius Bar Reservation and Apple Support Options - Apple.   

Here are the Apple support pages that outline the Activation Lock - and the only mechanisms by which it can be turned off:

Activation Lock for iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch - Apple Support

Turn off Activation Lock – Apple Support

As you will discover, unless you are the owner of the AppleID that was last used to activate the device, you’ll not be able to defeat or bypass the Activation Lock. With documentary evidence that you are the original owner (such as sales receipt showing the serial number), Apple may be prepared to assist - otherwise they and nobody here will be able to help you.

If you have the necessary documentation, Apple have recently introduced a new portal though which you may be able to request release of an Activation Lock:

How to remove Activation Lock - Apple Support & start an Activation Lock support request.

However, recovery of the AppleID credentials should be possible…

If you have forgotten your AppleID or associated password, these can be recovered here:

https://iforgot.apple.com/

To recover your credentials, you’ll need access to any one of the following:

• Your primary email address mailbox that corresponds with your AppleID
• Any of the secondary/recovery email addresses that should be configured for your AppleID account
• Any of the trusted telephone numbers (fixed line or Cellular/Mobile) that are associated with your AppleID

Unless you AppleID account has not been fully/correctly configured, or has been seriously neglected, recovery of the AppleID and password should not be difficult.

More information about recovery of your AppleID:

If you forgot your Apple ID - Apple Support

More information about recovery of your AppleID password:

If you forgot your Apple ID password - Apple Support

When you recover access to your credentials, you would be well advised to log-in to your AppleID account from a web browser - and verify/update any email addresses and trusted telephone numbers:

https://appleid.apple.com/