The watch was my girlfriends and she passed away I was suppose to be the recovery contact but I have had no luck
the owner past away and now i cant get it to unpair because I don’t have the phone
Being a recovery contact does not give you access to a person's Apple Account. It would have just allowed them another avenue to get access to their account themselves if they forgot their password. You will need to work with your girlfriend's family to have them get access to her Apple Account so that they can release the Apple Watch from Activation Lock.
Condolences on your loss.
Regards.
