ios 16.2 -- can't invite wife to home (upgraded architecture)

I upgraded all the devices as required for updating the Home architecture and then upgraded my wife's phone (11 pro) to iOS 16.2 and I've tried to invite her to join our home, but she keeps opening the home app to find that it has created a new home for her and she is unable to join our existing home. She receives the invitation, clicks it, it looks like the app is updating to add the home, but then it returns to the home that has no devices. I see her as a "resident" in my home settings, as though she has accepted the invitation, but I can't change any of the settings for her account and I can't remove her as a resident from the home so that I can try to re-invite her.