Purchases missing/not showing up in family share

I have a new iphone 14 MP and 2 ipad minis. Family share is hit or miss. I've already used it several times. I bought an app yesterday on my iphone and it immediately appeared on the ipads. Just now, I bought an app (yes it has family share) and it won't show up on the ipads.

I've found the only way to get it to work is to sign out and back into my iphone, but then I have to redownload 200gb+ of music since it will instantly delete my music library from my phone.

Is there a reasonable solution to this issue? I also tried signing out of the ipad but that did not work.