how do i have my parent change my dob it says im 13 and im actually 14

According to the support article: Update the birth date associated with your Apple Account - Apple Support

"If you need to change the birth date for someone below age 13 [age varies by country - see the article], contact Apple Support."

Click/tap on this link to contact support --> Contact - Official Apple Support

Work your way down the menus to find the item you need, or at least to get a chat session or telephone call and be redirected.

This page has telephone numbers for contacting Apple for support and service ➔ Contact Apple for support and service - Apple Support

Click here to change the date. you must be at least 13 years old to be able to change the birth date of your apple account.